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When I was in my second year of university, a stranger approached a friend and me on the streets of Melbourne, asking to photograph us for his website about interracial couples. A little taken aback, we told him we weren’t together but had friends that might fit the bill. He went on to explain that many of his friends were Asian men who thought Anglo-Australian women just weren’t interested in dating them.
His website was his way of showing this wasn’t true. After a fittingly awkward goodbye, I never saw that man or, concerningly, his website again, but the unusual encounter stayed with me.
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Asian-Australian author and playwright Michele Lee describes how a meeting through online dating led to realisations about the subtleties of living in two vastly different worlds. I never used to date Asian girls, only white girls, until recently when I had sex for the first time with a girl from Hong Kong. Me: Thanks for writing.
I was locked out of Lavalife. Casting my mind back to those years I spent as a one of the many little fishies in the ocean of Lavalife, wagging my tail at the non-Asian men, flitting away when Asian-Australian men approached me, another interaction springs to mind. Good question. My criteria for sex, according to me, seemed to be a discriminatory policy of non-Asians only.
I stayed silent. He persisted. I gleaned from his short messages that he was attracted to my pictures, to the idea of me. The idea of Asian. He kept re-appearing in my inbox.
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Remember a time when if you wanted to find a partner you went out, met someone without exchanging texts first and decided if you liked them? Let’s call that time Summer is the busiest time for online dating but not all apps are created equal. Credit: Shutterstock. Over the past eight months as a single, I have had an on-off relationship with the apps, let alone the men I have met though them.
But summer’s wane is prime time for dating activity someone told me I have a deadline of round one of the footy season. In Australia, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission estimated in that online dating sites had more than 4.
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Yue Qian does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. In fact, this is now one of the most popular ways heterosexual couples meet. Online dating provides users with access to thousands , sometimes millions, of potential partners they are otherwise unlikely to encounter.
It is fascinating to see how online dating — with its expanded dating pools — transforms our dating prospects. Can we broaden our social network to a variety of backgrounds and cultures by accessing thousands of profiles? Or do we limit our choice of partners through targeted searches and strict preference filters? When photos are readily available for users to evaluate before they decide to chat online or meet offline, who can say that love is blind? Before I started my research project about online dating in Canada, I did a micro social experiment with my partner.
We created two profiles on a mainstream dating app for heterosexuals: one was a profile for a man that used two of his photos — an Asian man — and the other profile was for an Asian woman and used two of my photos. Each profile included a side-face photo and an outdoor portrait wearing sunglasses. One reason we used side-face photos and self-portraits with sunglasses was to avoid the issue of appearance.
In online dating, discrimination based on looks deserves a separate article!